re: Getting oil off painted wood

Yeah Mineral Spirits would be my first try.  If it's graphite in mineral oil, that oughta do it.  Probably scrub it with a toothbrush to get into the grooves real good.  If that doesn't work, the dish detergent might.  If not that then something like Simple Green.  If not that, then just sneak away in the middle of the night and start a new life somewhere else to avoid the wrath of SWMBO.