“Spock”... a farmers best friend.

Boys and Girls,
Been noticing a lot of idle chatter floating about lately with a predominance of a lack of happy/unhappy snaps. I’m guessing this has been instigated by a bout of boredom coming off the emergence from the ever complained about Yankeeland winter.
While this may be of little inspiration, it certainly will bite into people’s idle time if they decide to wade through it past this intro.
It was published over at that other site (LJ) on Jun 3, 2016.  During the era that “Boys and Girls” hasn’t invaded either my planet or my vocabulary, and I was still bereft of words.  It was a prelude to me taking up the gauntlet to expand on my prattle in my articles in an attempt to counter many of the one line/picture projects presented by far too many "enthusiastic" authors… a practice the WOKE generation should protest against, if only to give them an actually useful goal in their normally futile endeavours.
PS. For my medical ailments at the time (opening sentence), you’ll need to search on Lumberjocks (if it ever gets working), as I haven’t imported my sob-sob story into our local Take care of yourself thread.
I woke up this morning (sorry) with my gummy ankle and a newly acquired sore tooth.  Unselfishly I have decided to share my discomfort and publish another episode in the "T&J model making", Little Black Duck style.
Built in May 2015, another instalment presented in the both the abridged and uncensored scenarios.
A bridge.
Just to digress from the typical road or construction vehicles, I found that the tractors on the T&J site provided an interesting alternative.  Of the two tractors I was more attracted by the style of  "The Tractor #90" and for no other reason, I decided to give it a try.
It had a lot of small parts which unfortunately were a bit too 3 dimensional  to cut on a laser so it was a case of traditional modern woodworking techniques (meaning power tools where possible and hand tools where not).   Nevertheless the laser did assist in making jigs to shape small parts.
I did make a fatal design blunder on which I chagrin more than the "Fiery" wheel catastrophe, but probably only because I haven't had the guts to correct it for fear of breaking smalls parts. That is the reason for the choice of the primary picture, it hides the fault.
It is about the mounting of the steering column on the engine  hood.  It should be fixed on the top layer of the hood near the base of the exhaust pipes rather than down at the next level.  I vaguely remember the plans were not too obvious and I discovered my mistake after a generous amount of superglue.   One day it will annoy me enough to make the alteration.
Thanks for your attention.
The End.
The pontoon version.
Early PS. I've included the mistake caveat above as there may be seasoned T&J veterans or a real life cow-cockey ( Aussie slang for farmer, no longer under the bridge, no need to be nice) that would readily identify the fault and I'm trying to avoid the embarrassment of a public posthumous explanation (let alone a burial, prior to an exhumation using a sharp post up front).
Having catered for the sagacious members of my audience the following  is for the rest,
I don't know about you but I rest lying down.
If the above is A bridge (a means for quick transition over water), a pontoon is a means of a slower and more arduous path covering the same distance in a much more unsophisticated manner.
Though some may know pontoon as a big boys card game that is nothing like poker or fish (though they walk around in water), in this case its use is referred to as "a bridge supported by shallow draft open boats or encased floats", which will give you an in depth (more than just ankle deep) detailed blow for blow commentary of what  the above A bridge alluded to.   Actually pontoon has nothing to do with the story but is a good counter balance along the theme of that lame introduction.
Again this is a case of building a story around pictures rather than taking the pictures of a story.
Hold onto your hats (it's plural anyway but more meaningful if you have two heads), sit back, light up (more on that later as well) and observe what an escapee from a mental asylum can pen to paper (or display on screen, without actually flashing).
I like to give my models names otherwise how would they know if you are calling them? 
Do you say "Dog come here."?
No, of course you don't, you holler, "You've crapped in the garden again you mongrel!!!!!" 
See you've already give him/her/it the name of "Mongrel".   Just don't use that language to the missus, especially if she is not house trained.  Feminist and political correctionists need not reply to the above statement as the missus has already ratified this article (… at least she will if I ever build up the guts to leave a copy of it for her…, in my will).
Oh yeh, the name.  Nothing to do with the spokes of a wheel.  First you must go downtown to your seedy neighbourhood, seek out a reputable and certified drug dealer (one that pays his taxes), buy some good quality weed, roll it, light it and smoke it (as referred to above) and then you may be able to think as twisted as this biographer of a non-ferrous  tractor.
For something different, I shall digress from the story line in a n endeavour to educate. The following is the unequivocal process of deriving a new name (you can use it on your future kids if your SWMBO permits you).  It utilises my newly invented game (in the shadows of that incomparable, yet at times incorrigible, famous Theoretical Physicists  Sheldon Cooper [Big Bang Theory]… you need to be a fan)  aptly named "Word Morphing"… now for a quick, impromptu, unrehearsed paradigm, just follow the bouncing ball (or as I say in my classics "the Indians arrows")…
The model is a Tractor →  affectionately called a Trackie by the farmers  → which sounds like Trekkie  → who are followers of Star Trek → featuring the starship Enterprise → ably captained by Tiberius Kirk →  portrayed by Willy Shatner who was a friend of Leonard Nimoy → who played "SPOCK"…….   DOH!!!!
Perfect example of how T&J models on LumberJocks can inspire tertiary style education by explicitly demonstrating  how to metamorphasise a "mechanical work horse" into a "pointy eared extraterrestrial".
BTW. There will be a short 2.5 hour quiz on "Word Morphing" at the end of this article in case you are still awake.  Take NOTE: It WILL be a quiz and not a survey, as it is only surveys that are voluntary.
Now that "Spock" has been branded,  I had to construct some sort of on-terra entity to house its soul, and I chose The Tractor model (see it all ties up, like all good bondage knots).
In keeping with the theme I used my transporter beam to teleport down to the workshop. (Picture of my lift between house and workshop.)
Actual relevant pictures of the subject matter WILL follow one day (I hope).
Now breaking from tradition, I didn't make any wheelsfirst.  I do apologise to anyone having nightmares, caused by pausing on "make any wheels" and before reading the highlighted first disclaimer, resulting on countless uncountable sleepless night without any sleep, wondering how the hell can anyone  get a tractor out of a barn without wheels, even with a transporter beam.
I started with the steering wheel (so I have confused even myself as I did make a wheel first).   Actually I started with 3, just in case there were 3 drivers.   The wheels were laser cut and also using the laser I made a jig to hold the wheel  to prevent breakage during aggressive form sanding and routing (using a 1/16"r mini corner round over bits… and extreme care) all followed by very concentrated finger counting.  Pieces were held in place by hot glue and I even shut my mouth (the missus didn't recognise me without showing my lack of teeth) to stop the hot air coming from it to melt the glue,
See I have corroboree pictures.
OOps Sorry, I meant corroborating pictures.
My traditional circle cutting jig with a new 3D printed spacer was used to create 3 large rear wheels (1 backup for the boot and nothing to do with the 3 steering wheels… I can count to for).
Just an FYI, If you were observant enough, the spokes in the spacer (go on look again) really speeded  up the job.   If you believed that, you are just as kookie as I am, I was just saving a few shekels on plastic printing filament.
Same jig and spacer used for disc sanding,
Sanding jig (same configuration of the cutting jig)
For a change of pace, this time the treads were cut using a router bit which I carefully inserted into a router that was even more carefully attached to a table (that I later called a router table as there was this router on it), as I "didn't" have a saw with a 3/8" kerf and I considered it too timely to file down my 1/8" kerf saw to make it compatible.  Again the same spacer used.
I quoted "didn't" above as I later discovered that I had a 3/8" kerfed saw in one of my dodo sets (dodo set only because I forgot I had the dado set).  I could have save a bucket (oops, nearly said shitload) of time contemplating the adaptation of my 1/8" saw blade.
The following is a picture.  I just had a rest typing, leaving the previous sentence in limbo.  If you agree that it is a picture and then ask "picture of what?", rather than have you wait maybe days for an answer, I'll pre-empt your question and post my reply here rather than at the end of the blog.  It is a picture of  "bulk tread rounding" (featuring my 3D printed dust extraction for the cordless Ryobi trimmer which is about 98% efficient in dust collection,  again another SU regurgitation).
I  found it even worked better when I attached a shop-vac on one end and a battery on the other.
Following is my tread sanding jig attached to the circle cutter using that speedy spoked spacer.
Availability of a laser (thanks female daughter) permits accurate creation of "small part" holding jigs and pin-point cutting line engraving.  Boy some people will believe anything…  a pin-point line... gimme a break (but leave the ankle alone).

On retrospect, I was not happy with the monochrome finish, however, I tell everyone I ran out of walnut and I was so anxious to build the model it got finished before I could make the pilgrimage to the big smoke to purchase more timber.  The truth be known, tractors are a messy vehicle and after I hosed it down and saw it without the mud I suddenly realised I forgot to use contrasting wood.   That's my story and I'm sticking to it... unless someone can pride me with a more ridiculous alibi.
Sorry, but no refunds offered for the precious time of your life wasted in reading this as I'm sure it might have taken a minute or two.  Anyway, as with all machinery, depreciate it for tax purposes and appreciate is a good lesson in frugality.
That's all for now and will Spock to you soon.
PS. Sorry to have to cut this article short as I have just been side tracked by a new hand-model inspiration. 
Look for the hand but don't speak to it but rather blame if for not giving me time to delete any of the meaningless and inundate text out of this article.
Beam me up Scottie. 

If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD


Nice job on that "Spock". A lot of fine detail on it
Spock does look good.    Nice details and love the how tos.   


well i read, none of it, but it sure does look good duckie !

working with my hands is a joy,it gives me a sense of fulfillment,somthing so many seek and so few find.-SAM MALOOF.

That is a very fine piece of work. I wish I had the patience to attempt it.

You don't always get what you go after,but you do get what you wouldn't have got if you didn't go after what you didn't get. Blaze Foley

Was there something in that gibberish that had something to do with the tractor picture??? Which is a pretty cool looking tractor.

Usually I see some slight path between the pics, and what comes off your fingers (typed stuff) Here I just hear a loud buzzing noise. Maybe it's your teleportation device acting up?

I fear you have a medical problem Duckie. There isn't a single pic, or mention of overpriced Green colored tools, slipping buddy. 

My off the cuff diagnosis is: Yer cheese dun slid offa yer cracker. I'd think treatment should be no more boxed wine, the sulfites are etching at the grey matter.. That and some vigorous sits ups 18 times a day, till ya feel better.

Follow up in 3 weeks.
I figured the jigs for building those tractors was more involved that the actual project, but it sure makes it all work in the end!

Great info on the wheels, stuff that can be applied to many other circular devices.

Live long and prosper!

That’s a great write up. Thanks!

Ryan/// ~sigh~ I blew up another bowl. Moke told me "I made the inside bigger than the outside".

Fantastic post; what’s it all about?
Thanks all for looking and taking the time to comment.

Was there something in that gibberish that had something to do with the tractor picture??? Which is a pretty cool looking tractor....

GW, sounds like you may have read it all. Sorry for the life-loss

The gallery pictures are there to just show what I did... big deal, anyone can do that... it's the prattle of how (jigs) and why (vino) was the intention of my message.

Now this may not be isn't inspirational, however, you gotta admit it's a change from reading what the bloody weather in SoCal is!... well to any non-Yankeeland resident and we have a few Aussies here... and BUKy and that Dutchman... and...

Furthermore if you can extrapolate, without any fear of amputation, you have discovered the art of "Word morphing" that can keep grandkids amused and potentially occupied for a limited quantum of harmonious time.

Live long and prosper!
Nanu Nanu!

 Gary G
 commented about 2 hours ago
Fantastic post; what’s it all about?
Whatever you want it to be,

Originally penned before I lost my sanity.

If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

We still love ya Duckster

Maybe it's the oncoming Wintery weather on your end getting you down. Take a few laps around the palace on that zippy green riding grass mangler of yours. I bet it will have you back in form quickly.

 commented about 6 hours ago
We still love ya Duckster

Maybe it's the oncoming Wintery weather on your end getting you down

Nobody plucks this duck... get your down from someone else.
I often do a few laps of my spa... must be the tumble turns that are getting me zdippy.

If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

Contrasting wood or not, I think this is a beauty.   Great job!!!
Thanks PD.

If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

Beautiful detail on that tractor,Ducky!!!!!!!!! You have slick jigs to get it just right!!

Cheers, Jim ........................ Variety is the spice of life...............Learn something new every day

Alex....Beautifully made and incredible detail.....I take my hat off to you Mr Duck.

 Thanks again...  and C'O', I hope you wear more than just a hat in our Aussie sun.

If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

Depends where you wear the Hat "Old Son"

Regards....C O.
You guys never stop amazing me with the work you do in your shops. I love this kind of work. So much more than people think goes into this work of art.