Return Of The Walnut Person

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Caution the contents of this project may not be suitable for all audiences. Contains Nudity and violence.

I heard a tapping or chopping sound coming from my shop. I just finished up on a project and was curious about the sounds so I went into my shop to see what the commotion was all about. I spotted a Walnut Person hacking away at my latest project.

I knocked it over and I almost felt sorry and embarrassed for him when I saw his little green Walnut husks under his loin-cloth. They looked like they were ripe and ready to drop.

No wonder he walks bow legged.

I picked him up. Big mistake! Before I could get his axe away form him he got in one last lick.

We both went running in different directions. Me for the first aid kit and him for the hills.

That's him escaping behind my Mid Century Side Table Prototype. The little rascal.

If you see any Walnut People, don't be a hero and take matters into your own hands like me.
Call animal control, the police or the men in white coats. I’m sure they’ll believe you.

Put some pants on Fetterman!

This reenactment is based on a true story  and my reflections on events that took place long ago and faraway in a Walnut Grove in northern California where I worked many years ago.

This project is rated R.

Thanks for viewing. 

36 Comments

🤣🤣

Ryan/// ~sigh~ I blew up another bowl. Moke told me "I made the inside bigger than the outside".

Totally fun stuff.   Love it.    Great story with pictures to prove the truth of it.  

Ron

Cool story - nice project too!
thats hilarious 🤣

working with my hands is a joy,it gives me a sense of fulfillment,somthing so many seek and so few find.-SAM MALOOF.


A nut with nuts... is it's name GORP (trail mix)?

Did you use a special Tormec jig to hone that axe?

If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

Thanks RyanG 

Thanks 987 Ron. I was starting to worry that no one would believe my story. 

Thanks Steve R. It is a cool story but a dangerous one. 

Thanks Pottz 

Thanks Gary G. 

Thanks Splinter, it is a bit nutty. More puns please. 

Thanks Ducky. No mechanical sharpening.  When I would come into the forge in the morning the furnace was still warm as though something was using it the night before. 
And some of my micro files were missing. 







Good news. I finely captured Feterman!
Like the "Halloween" series of movies, I'd bet it doesn't end here....
Thanks Splinter you could be right. There could be hundreds or thousands of Walnut People heading this way as we speak with weapons to free their friend Feterman. 
Or they could be coming to crack him over the head with a mallet and sprinkle his remains on their salads  🤔
They could be vegetarian. Or just a bunch of cannibals. Because of you I’m starting to feel sorry for Feterman.

When it happens I never have my camera ready and I have to build a reenactment scene. 
Totally nutty!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers, Jim ........................ Variety is the spice of life...............Learn something new every day

Good one!

But now I will be freaked out in my shop.


Petey

Must have mistaken the legs of the side table for walnut and was trying to free them.  

--Nathan, TX. Hire the lazy man. He may not do as much work but that's because he will find a better way.

Thanks Petey if you have kids I wouldn’t show them this one. Nightmares!
Lazy Man. Your very close to the truth. This old  true story has much to do with walnut lumber and walnut trees. This scary story is too long for this format. Maybe a children’s book?
 Maybe a children’s book?
Naw, kids can't read today and have limited attention spans.

Maybe a full length movie with transformers and dinosaurs will get their attention. Can't have the Walnut People as the heroes or the buggers will be in every store and happy meal for years. 😱