BOOMBY or an OGWOOFY?

Boys and Girls,

 Not that I see much here at CN, but LJ’s used be inundated by more than a weed (blackberry) infestation 

regarding posts with the subject “Identify this wood”… well this has been imported for those lurkers that happen to seek inspiration here 'cause of all sorts of issues using their (LJ’s) new clunky search engine. 

 

Dragged this Nov 22, 2018 post across from my LJ blog (not project), purely as an interlude between progressive puzzle (hinted to in a comment to my last puzzle) projects and contains little constructive content other than killing time between drinks, if you have nothing better to do.

 

Jumping ahead, I used one of my off-cuts to take a  "turn" for some hand screw handles on my lathe,

which I literally screwed up by hitting it with a mallet during glue up after it probably bottomed out on the thread

(DOH!)… not even considering that it might split… it did…

bad “turn” Mr. Murphy!

 

Boys and Girls,

 

BOOMBY is a species of wood I discovered when I first moved to Churchill.  It is derived from the genus, Branch Out Of My Back Yard…  and produces some reasonable by products... could you imagine a chook laying a muddler like this?

 

Just recently I discovered another new species called OGWOOFY which is a very closely guarded species of Over Grown Weed Out Of Front Yard(s),

 

Hidden like a weed, looked like a weed and smelt like a weed... though forensic investigation later proved it not to be a (smokable) weed. 

 

As in those blockbuster movies, grab some popcorn and  let's go back in time… about 12 months ago I bought some useless item from Bunnings and with their generous refund policy, I returned it and seeing as how the money had already been spent and the refund was not going to set me up as a billionaire in the afterlife, being the son of a Hungarian ferncutter, I decide to buy this polesaw,

 
Now all it is, is a chainsaw on a big stick, however, I'm positive I'm not by myself in admitting to a morbid fascination with chain saws.

I have no idea why I bought it other than for the fact that I had a swag of Ryobi 18V batteries to fit it, as I loathe gardening nearly as much as reading… you don't need much imagination to appreciate that the Garden Beautiful magazine is not one of my favorite household pleasures.

I asked SWMBO what kind of tree that was in our front yard and being the botanist in the household, as she has a lot of experience with flower flour in the kitchen, she informed me it was an over grown weed… I tried to overdose it with Zero weed killer and came to realise that the bloody weed could swim and no matter how much Zero I poured on it, it kept surfacing for a breath.  Now this weedy tree was in a place where I actually had to do some physical manoeuvring of the body to reach and being adverse to exercise, realised that I had that polesaw (remember the polesaw… I eventually did) harboring a new family of spiders in my shed.  Made minced meat of the weed,

and I finished up with a tasty meal of meat balls though I finished up spitting chips.

 

Now back to my story… recently I bought a new car and in an endeavour to keep it scratch free… apart from shopping cart trolleys and dickhead careless owners of car doors in car parks… I tried to trim up some of the overhanging weeds on my property… now during one of these outdoor activities I had a home invasion by one of my neighbour's cats who stole a $50 piece of eye fillet steak out of my kitchen while my back was turned… OK, I left the back door open… my bad… while I could see the funny side of it… hell, it was a $50 piece of eye fillet that was ageing on my kitchen bench… anyway, that's another story and I won't even bother mentioning it or show you the incriminating video that was captured by my internal surveillance camera.

 

Back to the story of my shiny new car.  I thought that it might be a good idea to commission a car port to ensure it doesn't get a dose of melanoma while sitting idle.

 

While surveying the driveway, I quickly… well after much contemplation, realised that this massive weed would impede it's erection… no, no XXX inference… the construction of the carport.

 

Spoke to SWMBO and seeing as how her favourite dentures were being overhauled at the local dental mechanic… she couldn't "beaver" the tree… damn (no pun intended), I had to get physical and do it myself.

 

Remembering the polesaw, recharged the battery and soon had another meal of meat balls and chips.

Now there was far too much of the off-cuts for even my appetite and the leftovers were stacked onto my trailer,

 

While looking at the mess I observed some neat grain in my butchery and considered that there may be a relative of BOOMBY sitting in front of my eyes.

I hacked a few "log" sized pieces off and took them into the haven of the workshop.

These pieces were wet so I decided to seal them before hibernating them for the mandatory 1 year per 1" of diameter….

 

Got out my fry pan with the paraffin,

no that brown is not left over dim sims…

though the thought of a few cats deep frying did cross my mind… dunked them and put them out to mature,

also did a bit of basting,

Now all you have to do is patiently sit there and wait 3 years to see what I will eventually turn these weeds into…

feel free to smoke on your own while waiting!

 

This batch now complements some of my other BOOMBY batches,

no idea of what they are or what I'm gonna do with them…

 

However, while on the topic of BOOMBY, a number of my friends have left clippings from their rose bushes in my care, that I will eventually turn into a pen for them…

they all get a kick out of showing off a pen "out of their garden".

The 3 pens on the left are from a LOSR species (Log On Side of Road), while the one on the right was from one of my rose bushes.

 

If you found this boring, just sit back and quietly wait for the 3 years to expire.

 

 

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