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MontyJ
227 posts
and
11 followers
in about 10 years
in about 10 years
Lessons learned...or what every new woodworker should know...
I have been accused of having a bit of a sense of humor in the past. If I can’t laugh at myself, well, I might as well die. I compiled a short list of things every new woodworker should know. Some of them are things I have learned from experience this past month. I’ll let you decide which are real. Feel free to add.
1. Never have your hand in the path of the chisel, no matter how careful you are.
2. Keep plenty of band-aids on hand.
3. Blood doesn’t wipe off of wood. It’s much easier to sand it off after it dries.
4. The edge of a freshly cut 45° miter is very sharp. See lessons 2 and 3 above.
5. Small pieces fired out of a table saw, router, or jointer sting like hell.
6. Don’t hit your thumb with the big wooden mallet. It hurts just as bad as a hammer.
7. Pay attention to the grain pattern before jointing or planing. Yes, it matters.
8. Mitered corners suck.
9. Hand cut dovetails suck.
10. Beating your head on the workbench will not square up the corners on that mitered box that the glue is rapidly setting up on.
11. Glue dries fast.
12. Don’t use your fingers to spread the glue. See lesson 11 above.
13. If you ignored lesson 12, the skin will eventually heal.
14. Six month old grandsons cry like hell when the planer starts.
15. Table saws make some saw dust.
16. Jointers make more saw dust.
17. Planers make a hell of a lot of saw dust.
18. Cherry shavings mixed with ash shavings is kind of pretty.
19. If your son-in-law is an idiot, don’t let him near your table saw with a soda can.
20. Shoving your son-in-laws head into a running table saw is illegal in some states.
21. If you smell smoke, something is probably on fire, or you need a new saw blade.
22. If someone comes to the workshop to bug you, fire up the planer.
23. Don’t try to rout a flat edge on the end of a round oak bench dog…ever.
24. A router can fire a 6” long, ¾ “ round, oak bench dog at approximately 750 miles per hour.
25. Chiseling out the waste is not as easy as it sounds.
Where are the band-aids?---Pro Libertate!
33 Replies
Yep !….Couldn’t have said it better myself !
Measure "at least" twice and cut once
Funny, yet true.
-- Chris ** If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. — Tom Paine **
Nice list. I would now add that Measuring Sucks.
-nicky
11. Only applies if you have , (a)a load of parts, (b) not enough clamps ,(c ) no help.or(d)all of above.
Now that’s funny :-)
Thanks for the interest folks. Sometimes you just have to laugh, even if it’s at my expense.
Some recent lessons include:
26. Never route the wrong way; trust me, it won’t end well.
27. Expect a wet spot on the front of your pants if you ignore lesson 26.
28. Don’t glue the box together until after you route the slot for the bottom.
29. If you ignored lesson 28…good luck brother. Just make another box.
30. Ash splinters take about 6 days to fester to the surface before you can dig them out.
Where are the band-aids?---Pro Libertate!
Great list I laughed my ass off on the son in law one. Good job
Ferdinand and Son Construction
Excellent list. My eyes went Wide open at #23, and a wide smile of recognition at #24. Keep on keepin’ on, MontyJ!
Might As Well Dance : http://barbsid.blogspot.com/
Um, yeah, number 23. I’ll fess up to that one. I wanted flat ends on my bench dogs, and was about to use the back saw to cut them. Then I got the bright idea…“Hey, I could just zip them over the router table.”
You just have to keep in mind that I’ve never had a router in a table before and didn’t appreciate the raw power that thing has. Well, as soon as the dog touched the bit, it was over. The dog bounced off a couple of walls, the ceiling, then landed harmlessly behind the work table, where it lays to this day. It happened so fast I didn’t even have time to wet myself. But I did turn off the router and get out the saw.
Where are the band-aids?---Pro Libertate!
MontyJ, it’s a good thing you tried to zip them over the router table. I learn a lot from other folk’s mistakes- grin. Now I know not to try doing that.
-- Chris ** If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. — Tom Paine **
Hey Monty, that was a good learning experience. Now if you had a shaper, you would be looking for the dog outside the building because it would have gone right through the wall. :-) …………glad it missed you.
The early bird gets the worm but its the second mouse that gets the cheese.
Paul, if I had a shaper I would need a battle helmet and flack jacket…or maybe one of those white suits like the Stormtroopers wore…better face protection.
Of all the tools in my shop (which aren’t many), the table saw worried me the most. It’s never fired anything at me! I keep the planer and jointer set so shallow they can’t really get a good bite on anything to launch it with any force. It takes a lot more passes, but that’s OK with me. The router looks so small and innocent under the table, but it finds new and creative ways to scare the hell out me. Number 26 above should actually read:
Never let anything get between the fence and the bit.
It’s safe to say that I have gained a very healthy respect for that devious little monster.
Where are the band-aids?---Pro Libertate!
I agree, MontyJ. Of all my equipment, the router is the one that I hate the most. Worn bit shanks, aging, slipping collets, a wrong move… scary, shrieking, nasty thing. Unless I’m doing production mode, or edging bigger items, I’ll find any way I can to substitute with hand tools! I know there are professionals with a dozen routers holding commonly used bits they rely on day in and day out, but it’s one tool I never want to become complacent with. Glad that peg missed you!
Might As Well Dance : http://barbsid.blogspot.com/
I had a minor chisel incident this weekend. Small rafter on the top of a little wishing well I’m building. I was sawing the sides for some cutouts and just using a rubber mallet to tap the chisel in underneath to pop the cutout out. The rafters had very little support so I instinctively used my other hand to support it. Of course the first whack on the chisel sent it all the through and into the heel of my hand. Another inch over and it would’ve much bloodier than it was.
Lesson learned.
Dubb, dubb, dubb…your kidding me right? I posted the list 8 days ago! Number ONE on the list!
1. Never have your hand in the path of the chisel, no matter how careful you are.
Read man, read! I’m trying to save your life here. I hope you read lesson 2. And if you come back next week complaining of a lump on your head from trying to rout a flat edge on a round bench dog, well, I’ll just wash my hands with you.
Where are the band-aids?---Pro Libertate!
I find that I learn much easier with hand-on experience, and probably will continue to do so….well, as long as I have hands anyway. It was an instant face-palm mistake. I knew better.
Learn by doing…I know what ya mean, but you really could have took my word for it on that one;)
Where are the band-aids?---Pro Libertate!
Here’s what it says on a sign in my shop:
“Never do anything you’d be embarrassed to explain to a paramedic.”
Don ’Dances With Wood" Butler
That’s pretty funny, Don. Pretty wise too.
-- Chris ** If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. — Tom Paine **
I loved your list. Can relate on several issues. My biggest issue is with the drill press. For some reason, when I get closer than an arm’s length of it, my sense of caution seems to go out the window. Perhaps it is because it looks so quiet and harmless there. I have learned more than once the hard way (or . . . maybe I still haven’t learned!) to take care when removing the bit from it. Those sharp bits can bite. Then I need to refer to #3. It sucks.
Another lingering problem I can’t get over is leaving the chuck key in and turning it on. I need to get the spring loaded chuck key. I know that. But I always think I learned.
That will be my contribution to the list:
- - Turning on the drill press without removing the chuck key will launch a small missile into your head better than NASA.
I think I really figured it out this time. :/
