I have a problem.

860 posts and 26 followers
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I have a problem:
I belong to a few sites like this and manage to get some friends. I get to know them, maybe not personally, but as a cyberfriend.
Then one day no more. The cyber waves go dead. WTF. Did the person die, did he/she decide to move on. Who the hell knows.
To me it is like losing a friend in a flash flood, not knowing what happened.
I think that it would be nice on these sites to have some way, if that you should die, some kind of light would turn on. Wife/ friend could turn it on.
If you decide to leave, also a button should allow you to let your friends know.
I do believe that some of my buddies are dead, but I have no way of knowing. If they are toast at least I would know to send flowers or condolences.

Just my thoughts.


Tor and Odin are the greatest of gods.

I had the same feeling a couple of years ago.
I am sure the site would not know if someone died unless a relative inform the site.
I could be gone for work related stuff or otherwise for a while and not login. When does the site determine that I am dead?

The better way is when you got a cyber friend who becomes a friend is to exchange emails and check through that when in doubt.

Abbas, Castro Valley, CA

Yeah, I’ve noticed that too on other sites. I never posted regularly enough on any of them for anyone to notice my absence, but sometimes life got in the way and 6 months would go by without posting anything.

Rob, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario

Yes, I agree, Exchange emails, and be friends, and also let people you know
That you are involved with this site.
I believe the woodworking that we do truly has a very, emotional component to
It, planning the project, making it, sharing it, all in a site with people that get why we do it, we all love it!

Steve Tow

Well here is mine. Personal email vandenbergj@charter.net
business email woodsconsin@charter.net
cell 920-253-9699

Jeff Vandenberg aka "Woodsconsin"

It can be worrying especially if you’ve built a bond with some one…

I spend a lot of time on social media so I can relate…I met a lady in Texas and ended up marrying her but that’s another story…

People come and go…that’s some thing you need to accept but if you have concerns try Googling them ???

You can always send a personal message to enquire. Yes, we do form some strong friendships on these sites and many take a break at times because of health or other reasons and it is nice to know if they are ok.

Mike, an American living in Norway

Well one of the problems on sites like this, is that very few people use their real names. So if you were to google me (Madts) you wouldn’t get very far.
The PM also has it’s restrictions. Cause of a non reply could be death or something else, but you are still left guessing.


Tor and Odin are the greatest of gods.

People move in and out of hobbies and habits. Each of these boards has their own subject matter. Starting a family, for example, is one reason people drop one hobby for another and move on in life.

I belonged to a recording forum a long time ago – like 15 years ago. I had a group of friends that all decided to move to a private forum to escape the clutter of the one we all met on. That lasted a couple of years and finally petered out, but we all moved on to Facebook after that. I’ve met a few of those guys in person, spoke on the phone to a few more but most of us are still friends to this day on Facebook. Some are still recording, most are still active musicians. I dropped out of that scene when my kids were toddlers. I just couldn’t make the time for it anymore.

More recently I belonged to a local mountain biking forum. That’s a little different because we used the forum to arrange meet ups. I pretty much gave that up when I bought my house because, again, I had no time for it thanks to my new hobby, woodworking. Then another baby came along and I barely have time for woodworking now. But I’ve kept up with a few of my mountain biking friends. Like I said, that’s kind of different because it’s local, which makes keeping up with friends a little easier. But you get the idea.

Now, my 13 year old son got into fishing with some friends of his so I’ve been taking him surf fishing here on Long Island, which I enjoy immensely. It’s kind of like going on vacation. The beach is so different and beautiful and we’re learning as we go and we get to do something fun together. But at the same time, it’s another constriction on my precious shop time.

I highly doubt I’ll get bored of woodworking and move on from that hobby because I have a lot of house projects I still need to finish and it’s also an excellent outlet for my creativity. Not to mention I have a garage full of tools, but time is time and is precious to everyone in different ways.

I guess the point is, don’t be surprised or alarmed if someone drops out of sight. He may have had a baby or had some other positive life changing event, not necessarily death!

Losing fingers since 1969

If anyone wants to chat anytime, clockert@eastlink.ca cell 902-213-0673, and if anyone is ever in PEI Canada I’ll put you up and feed you lobster till it comes our your pores!

CHRIS, Charlottetown PEI Canada. Anytime you can repurpose, reuse, or recycle, everyone wins!

I would like to go, but I think the Bridge is not for the faint of heart. Is it a see-through bridge? I have a problem with that. Otherwise PEI is on my list of places to go.


Tor and Odin are the greatest of gods.