As I was drafting this post I was faced with the conundrum of quality vs quantity. My wife always insisted I was a windbag and not to besmirch her reputation, I decided, to hell with quality and let's go with quantity. So if you have some idle time to spare, read on and if you find inordinate prattle offensive, I hereby warn you to just look at the pictures.
You have been warned.
"Logger" (T&J model - The Logging Truck #84) was my next sojourn into the workshop, to undertake the metamorphosis of lumps of wood to a vehicle small enough to permit this 4' 15" giant to reach the pedals. This latest thrill seeking project was instigated by the over-abundance of trees that needed to be moved in my garden (the fact that it was the only T&J plan I expended my valuable shekels on and was gathering dust in the confines of a drawer, that graced the sawdust pollution of my workshop sometime in the past, might have had just a slight influence). I never for a moment realised that you cannot easily move live trees.., and I was unceremoniously informed that they need to be human-ely (tree-ely just didn't sound right) put down first (I cannot say chop down as my garden is so sensitive that I don't even dare to walk on the grass… just smoke it) . Unfortunately, according to botanists, most of the fauna populating my garden's "forest" does NOT comprised of "perennial woody plants" but rather overgrown "woodified" weeds which are not conducive to bonfires let alone prime woodworking media. Consequently I had to make a pilgrimage to the big smoke (Melbourne) to purchase more exotic and costly "woodified" weeds. I returned back in Churchill to the boo's of my family and just minutes before they had the opportunity to change the locks.
· In an endeavour to put meaning to the de-mystification of the above cacophony of syllables, a brief layman's translation is "I built a toy truck and needed some sort of PROP to put on the back of it.".
PROP. Now that is a story nearly deserving a literary article on its own. Bamboo sticks were more deserving of a faecal establishment, and plastic sticks would look plastic. Square stakes didn't look curvy so I contemplated Tee-Trees. Back in the 60's, Tee-Trees were every where. On our fences, gates, window shutters, picture frames (I had crooked pictures, they were taken of law-breakers), tree and garden vegetable stakes and the list goes on (and I ran out of ideas). Now, in 2015 (well actually it was "back then", not "now" as now is 2016 - and will take its turn to be "back then" in 2017) I tried in vain to purchase some Tee-Tree stakes. Google search revealed nothing, even after I turned my PC on. The only source I could find was on patrolled beaches behind cordoned off areas. I eventually found some on the outskirts of a plantation and when I approached, I was approached by some burly guys demanding my termination (no.. not to kill be but to terminate the trespass). After a lot of soul searching, I eventually put on my balaclava, painted my Honda jet black, even died my knickers black, not to mention the black toenails from 10 deftly aimed hammer blows, I snuck out after midnight in an effort to defoliate the schrubbery on the side of a deserted road. Don't believe me?? See if you can find any Tee-Tree? NO. not on the side of the road but a supplier.
· Again, brief layman's translation is "I thought some T-Tree might look good and if I could get some it may make the model look better (which I eventually did get).".
Second warning.
Unfortunately "Logger" was built way back in the first quadrant of year 2015 AD and my collection of polarized photographic paper was unceremoniously discontinued by the local paper mill (APM to the locals) and I only have a smattering of JPG quality media to immortalize "Logger"s coming of age (furthermore, some of the lithographs are just too precious to share with anyone… even I haven't seen them).
So I will endeavour to construct this biographical saga around the few images I could retrieve from the bottom of the @Recycle bin of my USB dongle.
Third and FINAL warning."
I absolutely refuse to turn a bowl (except upside down to prove to mum I have finished my soup), so the next picture is testament that a lathe can be used for at least 1 thing other than bowls…
Miniature T&J gear shifts.
Sorry the above 1st picture is out of focus, but I was in a hurry to write this article (blurred by speed - motion not dope).
For anyone interested, below is a perfect example of how I incorporate a laser into my T&J builds (and for those not interested you'll still have to look at the picture just so you'll know what to ignore).
By laser cutting pieces out of 6mm MDF, I have a perfectly shaped template for layout and router following to minimise (if not totally eliminate) the need for spindle/profile sanding (see bellow - that's the loud picture underneath).
I haven't included the follow up picture as I couldn't find it and the routing didn't work.., Just kidding, no picture taken and the routing did work beautifully.
· Another brief layman's translation, "I omitted to taken any worthwhile pictures.".
Third warning (I did say before that the Third was the final).
However, all this talk of a Laser is just a pie in the sky and is only of benefit to those that just happen to walk into a spare room of your house (you might get arrested if you walk into the spare room of a stranger's house) and notice a laser engraver/cutter in one of its corners (if you can't find it in the corner check the other 3 corners… but only if you have a 4 cornered house.. ok, to keep it short.. check ALL corners). Now, the way to ensure you miraculously find a laser cutter in the corner (of your house, a stranger's house would be considered theft) is to nurture a daughter (can be any female kind) that you get nagged by and subserviently relinquish your alpha dominance and concede to setting her up in a laser service providing enterprise , whereby that one and the same descendant then immediately loses interest once the cheque for the laser has been signed and deposited.
Voila… (I seem to use that word often… well at least once before in another blog… must look up its meaning… it sounds something like a tulip or it's close cousin the rose)...
… One spare and idle laser waiting to be found and (ab)used in the corner of a spare room…
I do laser jobs… cheap, cheap… however, the postage is murder and currier pigeons are hard to find…
· Layman's translation, "By misfortune, I now have the use of a laser.".
Third warning (but its probably too late now).
Phew, after proof reading this submission, I didn't have the energy left (or the heart) to delete the nonsense and if I did, this article would only contain,"Logger" pulls his weight. The End.
For those that take pleasure in sadomasochism and put themselves through the ordeal of reading this type of drivel, prepare yourself for just a couple more inane offerings while my ankle heals, and for the others, lock up your keyboard in case This Little Black Duck jumps out of your screen.
· Layman's translation, "Be afraid, be very affraid.".
Bye…........., for now.
LBD
PS.
The obligatory Model/SU pickie…
PPS.
Unfortunately that tragic origin of the laser is true.
PPPS.
After this, can anyone dare to imagine the rubbish I will serve up when I describe the build of "Garbo" the garbage truck.
PPPPS.
Probably TMI, but with all these Ps, I gotta go to the lavatory!!!! NOW!!!
If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD
