33 Replies

Yep !….Couldn’t have said it better myself !

Funny, yet true.

Nice list. I would now add that Measuring Sucks.

11. Only applies if you have , (a)a load of parts, (b) not enough clamps ,(c ) no help.or(d)all of above.

Now that’s funny :-)

Thanks for the interest folks. Sometimes you just have to laugh, even if it’s at my expense.

Some recent lessons include:

26. Never route the wrong way; trust me, it won’t end well.

27. Expect a wet spot on the front of your pants if you ignore lesson 26.

28. Don’t glue the box together until after you route the slot for the bottom.

29. If you ignored lesson 28…good luck brother. Just make another box.

30. Ash splinters take about 6 days to fester to the surface before you can dig them out.

Great list I laughed my ass off on the son in law one. Good job

Excellent list. My eyes went Wide open at #23, and a wide smile of recognition at #24. Keep on keepin’ on, MontyJ!

Um, yeah, number 23. I’ll fess up to that one. I wanted flat ends on my bench dogs, and was about to use the back saw to cut them. Then I got the bright idea…“Hey, I could just zip them over the router table.”

You just have to keep in mind that I’ve never had a router in a table before and didn’t appreciate the raw power that thing has. Well, as soon as the dog touched the bit, it was over. The dog bounced off a couple of walls, the ceiling, then landed harmlessly behind the work table, where it lays to this day. It happened so fast I didn’t even have time to wet myself. But I did turn off the router and get out the saw.

MontyJ, it’s a good thing you tried to zip them over the router table. I learn a lot from other folk’s mistakes- grin. Now I know not to try doing that.

Hey Monty, that was a good learning experience. Now if you had a shaper, you would be looking for the dog outside the building because it would have gone right through the wall. :-) …………glad it missed you.

Paul, if I had a shaper I would need a battle helmet and flack jacket…or maybe one of those white suits like the Stormtroopers wore…better face protection.

Of all the tools in my shop (which aren’t many), the table saw worried me the most. It’s never fired anything at me! I keep the planer and jointer set so shallow they can’t really get a good bite on anything to launch it with any force. It takes a lot more passes, but that’s OK with me. The router looks so small and innocent under the table, but it finds new and creative ways to scare the hell out me. Number 26 above should actually read:

Never let anything get between the fence and the bit.

It’s safe to say that I have gained a very healthy respect for that devious little monster.

I agree, MontyJ. Of all my equipment, the router is the one that I hate the most. Worn bit shanks, aging, slipping collets, a wrong move… scary, shrieking, nasty thing. Unless I’m doing production mode, or edging bigger items, I’ll find any way I can to substitute with hand tools! I know there are professionals with a dozen routers holding commonly used bits they rely on day in and day out, but it’s one tool I never want to become complacent with. Glad that peg missed you!

I had a minor chisel incident this weekend. Small rafter on the top of a little wishing well I’m building. I was sawing the sides for some cutouts and just using a rubber mallet to tap the chisel in underneath to pop the cutout out. The rafters had very little support so I instinctively used my other hand to support it. Of course the first whack on the chisel sent it all the through and into the heel of my hand. Another inch over and it would’ve much bloodier than it was.

Lesson learned.

Dubb, dubb, dubb…your kidding me right? I posted the list 8 days ago! Number ONE on the list!
1. Never have your hand in the path of the chisel, no matter how careful you are.

Read man, read! I’m trying to save your life here. I hope you read lesson 2. And if you come back next week complaining of a lump on your head from trying to rout a flat edge on a round bench dog, well, I’ll just wash my hands with you.

I find that I learn much easier with hand-on experience, and probably will continue to do so….well, as long as I have hands anyway. It was an instant face-palm mistake. I knew better.

Learn by doing…I know what ya mean, but you really could have took my word for it on that one;)

Here’s what it says on a sign in my shop:

“Never do anything you’d be embarrassed to explain to a paramedic.”

Don ’Dances With Wood" Butler

That’s pretty funny, Don. Pretty wise too.

I loved your list. Can relate on several issues. My biggest issue is with the drill press. For some reason, when I get closer than an arm’s length of it, my sense of caution seems to go out the window. Perhaps it is because it looks so quiet and harmless there. I have learned more than once the hard way (or . . . maybe I still haven’t learned!) to take care when removing the bit from it. Those sharp bits can bite. Then I need to refer to #3. It sucks.

Another lingering problem I can’t get over is leaving the chuck key in and turning it on. I need to get the spring loaded chuck key. I know that. But I always think I learned.

That will be my contribution to the list:

1. - Turning on the drill press without removing the chuck key will launch a small missile into your head better than NASA.

I think I really figured it out this time. :/

Don—-Now that’s funny! Unfortunately, I’m more of an act first and get out the band-aids later kind of guy. I don’t try to be, it just comes out that way. I am getting better though. I never let my hands get anywhere near bits or blades. I don’t wear any loose fitting clothing and I don’t have enough hair to knit a hummingbird a vest. I also wear my eye protection at all times. The more I use the equipment in the shop, the better feel I get for what it’s capable of.

Sheila, that drill press story reminds of a terrible accident I remember from 7th grade shop class many years ago. Our school had a woodshop class, and although we were not allowed to use the table saw, we were allowed to use the drill press. The chuck key was always attached to the press with a length of small chain so it wouldn’t disappear. Well, one day a girl was tightening up a bit and an idiot boy reached over her shoulder and hit the start button (just messing with her, was his excuse). Well, the chain wrapped around the ring finger on her right hand and tore it completely off. I was in a different class at the time, but when it came time for shop, there was a teacher at the door that told us there would be no shop for awhile. She didn’t tell us what happened, but the other kids that were in the shop at the time were more than happy to share the details. I do remember that the doctors were unable to reattach her finger. When shop class reopened we were still allowed to use the drill press, but the teacher had to chuck the bits for us, and the key was kept in his pocket.

That’s terrible, Monte. I remember 7th grade shop class and we did lots of foolish things but fortunately I don’t remember anything like that happening.

I always try to be hyper aware when using power tools or sharp tools. I cut my hands on a daily basis still, and it’s always the dumbest thing that doesn’t involve those kinds of tools. Case in point – yesterday I was hand sanding and drove my thumbnail right into my other hand and tore off a good sized hunk of skin. Who knew thumbnails could be so sharp?

Wow – that is terrible! I will tell you Monty – I am NOT proud that it has happened more than once to me. (Starting it up with the chuck key in!) I think I just get so wrapped up in things that I “forget” in that split second. Usually it falls out before it can build up top speed, but it can still do some damage I am sure, as it usually hits the wall pretty hard.

I DO need to get the spring loaded ones, and on our next trip to Halifax in a week or so, that is at the top of my list. I have used my press for nearly 20 years now and it has only happened a handful of times, but apparently I just don’t learn as I did it last week again. I truly feel like an idiot but I also realize the potential for really getting hurt. Reading your story is a good example. Thanks for sharing.

Well, I got through today without loosing a drop of blood. And learned a couple more lessons…

31. A jig-saw will not cut straight and plumb through 1" stock. You can have straight, or you can have plumb. Take your pick.

32. If the straight bit on the router catches the end grain of a piece of cherry you just spent 2 hours shaping with a jig-saw and palm sander, it will tear a huge chunk out of it.

33. Cussing profusely and throwing the piece of cherry will not make the torn out piece magically re-attach itself.

34. Crouching in the corner of the shop and crying like a school yard sissy doesn’t help either.

35. When you think you have enough wood for a project, buy lots more.

MontyJ, do you have to have a project to collect wood? I figure something will come along if I stock up on enough wood. And if I am wrong, so what?

Well, I suppose not Chris. I’m sure experienced woodworkers keep a pretty good supply on hand. However, being new to the hobby it never occurred to me to just stockpile until I thought of something to do with it. I just figured I would get what I need when I needed it. It’s just another one of those things every new woodworker should know.

I was just trying to be funny Monty. Guess I failed. I collect wood when I can, but usually it is left over wood from past projects. I have a couple ash and a few cherry boards due to buying a little extra just in case I messed up. I do that because I am far from experienced.

It’s all good Chris, I got it ;) I did buy a little extra, then a little more extra…and a little more extra…I now have quite the stockpile of scraps. All is not lost though. The bigger pieces I’ll save. The smaller ones will go into the drum smoker. Ash and cherry are two of my favorite smoking woods.
I think the next time I go to Denoon I’m going to pick up a piece or two of maple and walnut just to have it around. If I keep doing that maybe I’ll come up with something to do with it.

So, what did make with ash, and how did you like working with it? Personally, I like it better than cherry. The ash cuts clean and crisp. The dang cherry wants to splinter and tear out so easily. However, the cherry sands easier and is easier to chisel than the ash (just my personal observations, your mileage may vary).

My workbench is ash. I really like it. I could see myself using it for drawer fronts as well, since I like the look of the wood. It was easy enough to cut, and took well to BLO. The cherry definitely seems softer, where ash, at least what I have used so far, was similar to oak or maybe even a bit harder than oak. I am in the process of making stool seats with maple. I love walnut, but I want to gain more skills before using any.

You might find some good uses for your scraps, even the smaller ones. I’ve made some dog stops out of ash, and my wife has used ash, beech, and cherry for making pens, although she likes the darker woods such as cocobola (may be spelled wrong). I can’t afford a lot of wood, so I tend to keep just about anything that’s bigger than a splinter – grin.

A variation on #1…if you drop a chisel, don’t try to catch it. Especially a freshly honed one. It will still end up with a chipped edge anyway. Thankfully there was only a little bit of blood…

Wolfdaddy, now that’s funny!

Chris, I have been contemplating a new bench with an ash top. Where I am, it’s cheap at $1.50/bf. I want to relegate my existing bench to strictly a planer table. Ash seems like it would make a seriously heavy, solid bench that can take a beating.

I love having ash for my bench. It was easy to build and I paid the same ($1.50 bft) for the wood. Only problem was there were some pieces I likes to much to use for the bench. They are sitting to the side, waiting on a new, as of yet undecided, project.

I know what you mean Chris. I found a few pieces during the sewing box build that were very unique. They have a strangely dark color and beautiful grain pattern. I should have set them aside, but I didn’t. I’ll post a shot of them tomorrow, as part of the boxes.